Funny eBay Car Listing, Peugeot 206 :
OMG I Cant Believe It, I Want This Car In My Home
Why are humans put on Earth? What is the ultimate goal of life?
Many people have pondered this ponderful question, but the ultimate answer (or one of a few) is to have a family and carry on your genealogy.
To have a family you first need someone to awkwardly fool around/make sexy time with. This magnificent beast of automotive perfection will help you achieve this. It has been scientifically proven to titillate women and arouse men.
No matter how unconventional you look this car will cause people to throw themselves at you. (If they do the brakes work fine and you won’t run them over). For instance, I have it on good authority Gerard Depardididideu bought a car like this to start a family.
What is this stunning product you ask? It is a Peugeot 206 1.6 GLX.
This car was crafted by the lovely people of France in the year of 2001 to help balance the controversial election of President George Bush and the launching of Windows XP. Also the French are romantic and only they can produce a car this seductive (…North Korea this is not)
Furthermore to help ease of operation and to allow easy sexy time the car has an Automatic Gearbox, has very good visibility due to large windows, windows/mirrors quickly move due to electricity, and comes equipped with fully working air conditioning and heater. This last feature helps immeasurably to keep yourself cool and your passenger(s) toasty.
To help you travel in comfort and style this manly and effeminate car (just like a Lamborghini Miura) has a 1.6 litre engine. This helps keep running costs and insurance low. For Instance, it was able to go from Heston (near Heathrow) to Coventry (92 mile trip) on £10.00 (however now that Mr Cameron and Mr Osborne want everyone else miserable, it needs £14.00)
Having been seduced by its provocative curves you now may be asking how the boudoir/interior is. Well I can tell you that all previous owners have been non-smoking, there are no scratches, stain marks, or “spillages” on the seats, dashboard, or headliner. It also come with a manufacturer original equipment 6CD multichanger/tape player.
The car has travelled a reliable 75,000 miles and been serviced on time. The cambelt was changed at 45000 miles. Despite getting more action than all the inhabitants of Heston combined this car has been more reliable than a wood burning stove. As a result in the 4 years I have owned it, it has only needed a new battery and exhaust.
Despite being as reliable as a wood burning stove there are 3 things to note. Number 1, having ferried potential sexy times, one of the two back box brackets has fallen off. It is still safe and not dropped but if you wish to repair, I have been quoted at £20.00 by GB Autos & Tyres (Postcode: TW14). Number 2, steering wheel faded at bottom, Number 3, two scratches (see picture).
Now who is this car ideal for?
- · People who need to start a family
- · People who need potential sexy times to start a family
- · New drivers due to visibility and small size
- · Old people due to visibility and automatic gearbox
- · Students who need a reliable car (while totally pimping with a Snoopy sticker)
- · Parents who want their kids to have a reliable car and be safe
- · People who like the French
- · People who hate the French (yet are willing to be seduced by its charm)
Lastly, it is well known Peugeot only decided to exist in 1882 as a car manufacturer so they can learn, cultivate ideas, and generally have the courage to step up and make the 206. It is a mass produced, reliable, unicorn of a car.
Now pick up the phone, dial 07836254900 and ask for Salman.
Collection has to be on or before 25th August 2013, as I will be on holiday for 10 days after this date.
- This magnificence is available to view at following times:
- Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday: 3pm to 8pm
- Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday: All day
- Payment is strictly cash on collection or bank transfer (no PayPal). On handover of cash, buyer/seller will go to bank and then all documents, keys, etc will be given. Full Payment is on day of collection.
- The car is very reasonably and sensibly reserve priced, having taken into consideration the sex appeal, plus points, excellent condition, bits to do, and 3rd party valuations from the Vauxhall Dealership, Whichcar Internet valuation, and similar cars for sale. As a result please do not haggle when you come to collect (only during the bid/making an offer).
- Sale of car advertised elsewhere as well so auction may end before end date
- NO RETURNS
- Selling car due to imminent purchase of an Alfa Romeo GTV. Just as it is a requirement for James May to say “buffeting” when travelling at speed, it is a requirement for every man to have an Alfa once in their life. Please help make it happen.
UK Bidders only/Only bid if you are able to collect.
Thanks for looking and happy bidding
On 17-Aug-13 at 20:55:43 BST, seller added the following information:
I was so seduced by this car that I gave a friends number. Do not call that number.
Please call 07807656702 instead, and this time Salman will definitely pick up.