Road Tax is changing again – 70% of young lads could be affected!
A big shake-up to the way UK road tax is calculated is coming into force next Monday.
The Government are trying to sneak this through quickly in the hope that nobody notices. If they are successful, the financial consequences for many drivers in the UK could be huge and could drive many off the road.
The purpose of the change is to to target individuals who are deemed have a negative affect on society by being annoying and obnoxious “a stain on society”.
It’s called the CUNT tax and is a new table that lays out how much of a cunt your car based on your age and what car you drive. Car Unsociability and Nuisance Tax – Originally to be called the COCK Tax (Clampdown On Car Knobs), but many senior Government MPs were uncomfortable with that name and were sent into a blind panic when they first heard that a COCK Tax was being introduced (nom nom nom).
The government have chosen to use your age and what car your drive as the perfect measure of how much of an annoying cunt you are. Cars that sit most highly on the CUNT scale are those that we would typically associate with todays “Boy Racer culture” (Culture being that slime that grows in a petri dish). “Boy Racer Culture” also being outlined such as – ‘low powered but very loud 1.0 litre engined hatchbacks being driven erratically around town centres showing no driver skills, often found parked up at ASDA or outside high schools at home time, spewing out bad bass and panel vibrations, with very badly fitted bodywork modifications and tinted windows made from bin bags’.
So How Is It All Calculated?
Welcome to the THRUSH Scale. This is not an acronym, it just a measure of your potential for being a ‘really irritating cunt’.
Government figure show that if you are male and aged between 22 > 28, you are 3 times more likely to be annoying to society (the base line of ‘1’ being a 75 year old war veteran that still cares for his wife). If you are between 17 > 21, you get the special status of SUPER THRUSH and are deemed 6 times more likely to be an annoying little twat.
You then take your THRUSH age figure and multiply it by the position of your car in the lookup table, i.e. THRUSH AGE x THRUSH CAR = THRUSH MULTIPLIER.
If you are an 18 year old and you driver a Corsa B the calculation will look like this ;
– 6 x 1000 = 6000. So your THRUSH MULTIPLIER would be 6000 = £600 annual road tax.
But if you are a 75 year old and you driver a Corsa B the calculation will look like this ;
– 1 x 1000 = 1000. So your THRUSH MULTIPLIER would be 6000 = £100 annual road tax.
Although we don’t have the final table yet, sources suggest that the following car drivers will be hit the hardest – Anyone driving a yellow car, cars with excessive camber and cars still fitted with ‘Fido Dido’ graphics.
We will have more specific details shortly and suggest that you LIKE or FaceBook page here for updates www.facebook.com/CarBasics.co.uk/