Life Lessons from a Petrol Head

 petrol head adviceWhen (or if) you have children, you may want to impart a few words of wisdom into their ears. Here are a few pearls you Petrol Heads may want to pass on:

petrol head advice

#1. If it’s got tits or tyres it’s gonna be expensive,
#2. That is probably not your car just marking its territory like an excited puppy !!
#3. No matter how short the distance, drive it !!
#4. Look in the mirror. That person smiling back at you is the only one you should let drive your car,
#5. Your car can never be too clean, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,
#6. When told you spend more time and money on your car than your GF, smile knowing you have the balance just right,
#7. Cheap, Fast and Reliable – You can only choose two,
#8. Straight roads are for fast cars, corners are for fast drivers.
#9. Love your car? Signal ahead of time, give the dickheads chance to notice!
#10. Never carshare with people that don’t wash, tip or give head,
#11. the first parking space you see will be the last one you see,
#12. Do not try to tint your rear windows with bin bags,
#13. Do not chop off coils to lower your car,
#14. Carrying a spare wheel knocks time off your 0 to 60 time,
#15. Not carrying a spare will get you to your next puncture faster,
#16. Remember, car polish is NEVER a present for the wife/GF,
#17. Upgrade your brakes before your engine,
#18. You cannot fix a puncture with duct tape,
#19. If you need to get out of a bad date, tell them you drive a Daihatsu,
#20. Never drive a car that doubles in value when you’ve filled it with fuel,
#21. Drive like a prick? Don’t forget, private plates are easier to remember,
#22. Never regroove worn out car tyres with a soldering iron,
#23.  Alloy wheels and kerbs do not mix. You are entitled to park further from the kerb the more your alloys cost,
#24. When a hose fails, don’t just replace it – uprate it,
#25. When your brakes wear out, uprate them,
#26. Heated washers jets will not defrost your water bottle!
#27. Never ignore your battery warning light!
#28. When your water pump fails, also change your timing belt,
#29. When your timing belt fails, also change your water pump.

Which one is your favourite? Do you have any you want to add?
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